


Curse

by darkest_ambition



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Arguments, Brotherly Love, Cuddling, Distraught Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fighting, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Nightmares, Other, S9, Sleeping Curse, brother's fighting, curse, hand holding, hehe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:55:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22453765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkest_ambition/pseuds/darkest_ambition
Summary: Dean gets cursed. He can only sleep with physical contact of someone who loves him. With Sam's current resentment and anger towards him, how will this play out?
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 10
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy this mess

Dean was so tired that he considered asking Sam to knock him out. 

It’s been three days since he slept, he was crawling the walls, but no matter what he did, sleep stayed at bay.

This wasn’t normal.

And Dean had a sinking suspicion that it was a curse. I mean, what else could it be? Besides, they just finished a witch hunt in Washington, well, kind of finished. The witch escaped. 

Most likely cursed his ass in the process.

He should tell Sam.

Except Sam was angry at him and didn’t want to talk with him. Except about cases or to snap at him.

“Dude, what’s up with you?”

Speak of the devil.

Dean shook his head, of course, his brother noticed. How could he not.

“You look like shit and you haven’t eaten, are you getting sick or something?”

“What, all of a sudden you decided to care?” Dean snapped at him, because fuck you Sam, you’re the one who decided to be business partners and not brothers.

“I never fucking sa-”

“I think it’s a curse” Dean cut him off again, this time summoning enough courage to actually look him in the eye. “I can’t sleep”

Sam stared at him, his expression unreadable.

“Maybe it’s just insomnia, you’ve had-”

“Whatever” Dean cut him off  _ again _ and turned to walk away. Obviously, Sam wasn’t interested, so, fuck him.

“No, Dean, wait!” a hand grabbed his shoulder. “Why do you think it’s a curse?” he proceeded to ask in a gentler tone, and once the older man looked at him, he was met with a concerned stare.

Huh.

“Cause I’m fucking tired, and every time i try to sleep, it just stays at bay. No matter what. Fuck, I’ve tried drinking, i tried fucking sleeping pills and they just came back up. That’s… it’s not normal.”

“So, witches, huh?”

“Yeah, what else”

Sam nodded, gesturing for him to sit down.

“We need to get back home, find a reverse spell or something.”

If only.

“Their spells were home made, do you think we have anything like that? I mean, we don’t know anything and the more important part is, why me? She hated you, but cursed me, like, how does this logic work, I mean-”

“Okay, okay, let’s just stick with the part where we need to fix this, okay?” Sam tried to look comforting, most likely because Dean was slightly rocking back and forth like a head case and was freaking him out. “When was the last time you slept?”

“Three days ago.”

“Fuck” Sam cursed, and Dean fully understood it. Time was running out.

“We are two days away from the bunker,  _ fuck _ !” Sam stood up, holding his head. 

Yeah, he was fucked.

“I’m gonna call Cas, maybe he’s around and could help, but the best way would be to find the witch who did it, but it might take weeks…” Sam was pacing the room, Dean could practically see the circles going around in his head.  _ No witch - no cure. Bunker is too far away and it’s gonna take awhile to find a reverse spell, if there is one at all. Dean should have told him sooner. If Cas can’t help, Dean is fucked. Should probably tell Dean it’s gonna be okay, even if it’s a lie.  _ That was the most possible scenario Sam is going through. __

“Shit, okay, man, how about you just lie down, don’t do anything, just save your energy, okay? We’ll figure this out.”

What energy? Dean wanted to ask. He was burned out. 

But he did as he was told.

  
  


Sam didn’t waste any time. Mostly, because there wasn’t any time to waste.

Once again, life or death.

Naturally.

And Dean looked already half dead.

So he called everyone he could think of, but no one helped, no one knew anything like this.

The only good thing was that Cas was a day’s drive away, so, they should drive up to meet him, it’s faster.

  
  


The most unsettling thing was Dean  _ not  _ insisting on driving.

Sure, he was tired, but even with half of his blood on the ground, he’d insist on it. That was just such a  _ Dean  _ thing to do.

This might be worse than he originally thought.

So it was a relief when he saw Castiel waiting for them in front of a motel called “elephant rooms”. I mean, seriously?

“Thank fucking god, Cas, I don’t know what to do” Sam didn’t even bother with hello, he was officially in a panic mode, jumped out of the car like it was on fire.

“You said it was a curse?”

“I think so, I mean, we’ve tangled with a few witches back in Washington, one escaped, never saw her putting a curse though.”

“And you said a sleep curse?”

“Yeah, he hasn’t slept in three days, looks like someone had run him over with a car and he’s just so  _ quiet _ , it’s unsettling.”

“I booked a room, how about you get him inside and I’ll check him.” Castiel motioned to a room 16.

“Sounds good.” Sam nodded, but at this point he would have agreed to anything. 

It didn’t sound good to Dean.

Cas patted him down and held a hand against his chest, but that showed nothing, and he was pretty sure he was screwed at this point.

“Dean, it might be unpleasant, but I need to walk through your memories and see what she did. Maybe this way we’ll know what it is exactly that she did.” Cas suggested.

Of course, Dean grunted and looked like a grumpy five years old, which just made Sam snicker, but eventually agreed.

His mind was a scary place, he didn’t want anyone wandering around there, but one, he was too tired to argue, two, they’d do this anyway, even if they have to tie him down.

Let’s just get this over with.

  
  


Cas left pretty quickly after, since he was in the middle of some angel stuff, as he said, but he did figure out what was wrong.

So, the witch did curse Sam.

Kind of.

Honestly, this was the last thing Dean expected to hear, but maybe this was witches way of fixing their broken relationship.

“I told you she fucking hated you, man.” it was Dean’s turn to laugh. And once he started he just couldn't stop. 

Sam just stared at him. 

“Now- now you’re g-gone have t-to hold my hand!” Dean started laughing again, but a minute later his laughing turned into sobs.

“Dean?” Sam stepped closer, looking at his brother with confusion and concern written all over his face.

Dean was pretty sure he’s gone insane.

He was full on sobbing and he couldn’t stop.

“Dean, what’s wrong?” this time Sam sat down next to him and put a hand on his back, slowly rubbing it, trying to comfort him and most likely figure out whether he needs to be locked in a psych ward or not.

The older brother just shook his head.

He’s never going to live this down.

“Dean, come on, man” Sam sounded actually concerned and almost panicky. “Do you want me to call Cas back…?”

Dean just shook his head and almost threw himself at Sam, seeking comfort and trying to hide himself from the world.

He was freaking Sam out, he knew that much, with his  _ breakdown _ , because let’s face it, he was having one.

To his relief and surprise, Sam didn’t pull back or push him away, like he secretly feared, but actually hugged him.

Dean melted against him, tears soaking into Sam’s shirt.

“Hey, it’s alright, okay? We’ll figure everything out, it’s okay, we’re okay…” Sam muttered quietly into his ear, trying to calm him down, but it seemed to only make it worse.

If Sam was honest, he’s seen Dean break many times, but he always tried to hide, either that or it came out with violence and bloody fights, but never like this.

Dean was seeking comfort.

This was almost new, he never lets himself be this vulnerable, which meant things were pretty fucking bad.

“Come on, man, you’re exhausted. Lie down, you heard what Cas said. Physical connection. You’ll be fine”

“I’m sorry” Dean muttered and continued to shake. Just then Sam realized that his brother has been apologizing and muttering `I'm sorrys’ for quite some time now. Obviously, he was feeling guilty about all of this and he’s going to feel even more guilty when he actually gets some rest and tarts to think straight.

“Nothing to be sorry for, man. Come on, shoes off.”

Dean was unmovable. Had a faraway look in his eyes and looked like he completely checked out. Sam was seriously considering taking him to a hospital for a check up after this.

But he needs sleep first.

“That’s it, lie down. I’m not going anywhere”

To prove a point, Sam kicked his own shoes off, turned the light off and lied down beside his brother, pulling him closer. 

Just like they were kids.

Dean was still trembling, sobs escaping him now and again.

“Go to sleep, Dean. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Dean did.

Waking up was a nightmare.

Dean felt better but the memories… he wanted to fucking disappear with shame and guilt.

Sam was still lying beside him with his laptop open.

“How are you feeling?” Sam put the laptop down, turning his full attention on Dean.

He just shook his head, words seemed like too much right now.

“I’m gonna get you something to eat and drink, after that you should get some more rest.”   
Dean didn’t argue.

Hell, he couldn’t even get words past his lips, it seemed as if he did, he would just crumble to pieces.

It must have been evident, because Sam didn’t pry.

However many minutes later - Dean couldn’t tell - Sam brought him an  _ omelet _ with a side of bacon.

“Eat. Nourish.” Sam pushes a plate in his hands and sat down next to him. “The plate better be empty after you finish. You need to get your strength back, cause you haven’t been eating in the past few days.”

Dean shot him a look.

“Yeah, i noticed.” Sam nodded. “Now eat.”

Well, shit, Sam was more observative than he gave him credit for.

But the main issue remains. He’s not gonna get  _ any sleep _ if he’s not in the same fucking bed with Sam. Which is unfair. To both of them.

They need to find a cure for this asap, otherwise Sam’s just gonna hate him even more for forced contact and all.

But damn, the omelet was good. Sam knew how to cook.

At least a few simpler things, anything more complicated and Dean was sure, the kitchen would go up in flames.

Once his plate was empty, sheer exhaustion overtook him.

“You finished?” Sam entered the room again, his hair dripping water, obviously just out of the shower. “Gimme a sec” he went to the kitchen and came back with two steaming cups and gave one to Dean, then planted himself right next to him on the bed. “Drink up. It’s good for you”.

Dean looked at the cup and it was hot chocolate.

He shot a surprised look at his brother, only getting a smirk back.

And then tears were back.

Seriously, what the hell?

He has zero control over his emotions, they’re just waiting to burst open and make Sam lock him up in a padded cell. Or their dungeon, to perform a throughout exoicism. 

He sipped his drink, trying to hide tears rolling down his cheeks from Sam, cause he embarrassed himself enough already and granted some strong blackmail material for Sam, but of course, his brother saw right through his bullshit.

“Jeez, Dean, what’s wrong?” Sam put his cup down immediately, leaning to see his face.

The older man shook his head, he didn’t trust his voice right now. Hell, he didn’t want to speak ever again.

“It’s alright, you’re just exhausted. It happens. Drink some more of this and lie down. You’ll feel much better when you wake up, trust me.” Sam talked to him in a gentle tone, which just ripped something inside Dean even deeper.

Cause his brother hadn't talked to him like this in months.

Hell, he barely spoke to him at all. And that just brought back memories of what he lost.

“I’m sorry” he whispered, shaking his head.

If there was one thing he knew, is that Sam deserves better.

This whole situation was still bizzare to Sam.

Sure, he gets it, the curse fucked everything up. But Dean just looked so broken, so  _ sad _ , it was tearing him up inside to see his older brother like this.

Maybe he was too harsh on him these past few weeks.

Which brings a question, was this some messed up way the witch tried to fix their relationship? A big last fuck you and you’re welcome?

And yeah, it may have made him talk to Dean more, maybe hide his anger, but it was tearing his brother apart. He had no idea what to do.

What if they can’t find the cure? It might wear off in time, Cas said so, but he wasn’t sure. 

But the thing was, when he was lying in bed with Dean, one hand put around his waist - yes, okay, they were cuddling - he realized how much this must be on Dean. Mentally.

It might not take a lot to get Dean to sleep now, when he can barely function, but later? He’ll be thinking that he’s burdening Sam with this. And sure, it might be a restriction of his space and time, but it’s not like he can leave Dean without sleep. But also, this way he can keep an eye on him and make sure he _ actually sleeps _ \- heaven knows he wasn’t before.

So, yeah, a curse.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's another chapter, a proof of my procrastination

They went back to the bunker not long after. To re-occupate. 

Dean tried to hide from Sam, staying in his room at first, but that didn’t help.

Sam hit the books, looking for some sort of reverse spell, but after what Cas told them, it was a dangerous game. The witch cooked up the spell herself; trying to reverse it might make it worse.

What should they do, just wait it out?

“What are you doing?” Dean asked him from behind.

“I- I don’t think we should be messing with the spell, it could backfire completely, like it did with the last one. I mean, she made these spells herself and who knows what she cooked up. I think we should wait it out or somehow find the witch.”

Dean just stared at him.

Of course, he’d want the spell removed as fast as possible, but the last vic? The reverse spell backfired.

He wasn’t willing to take that risk with Dean.

“I don’t know, I guess you’re right?” the older man just looked tired. “You do realize how fucking awful it’s gonna be for you, right?”

Sam almost snickered at that. Dean was acting like this was ruining Sam’s life, but not his.

“What, afraid I’m gonna molest you in your sleep?” the younger hunter smirked, his amusement growing even stronger, when Dean blushed.

“Fuck off, you giant.”

“Well, let’s get some things straight then. For this to work, we don’t need to be cuddling or laying on top of each other, so, when you feel tired, without any of your moping and sulking, you come to me and say ‘hey, Sam, I’m tired.’. Cause I know you and you’ll go days without sleep, just ‘cause you don’t want to bother me or whatever. Hell, all i need to do is keep my leg on yours and that’s enough, right? So, don’t be a wussy and submit to your basic human needs, capiche?”

Dean just nodded.

There was nothing else left to say, after all.

“So, are you feeling tired now?”

“No” Dean shook his head and then yawned. “No, we should do some research or something. Maybe eat. I don’t know”

Sam stared at his brother, cause the man that was standing in front of his was acting like anything but his brother.

Was he like this before?

Honestly, Sam couldn’t tell. He was so caught up in his own anger he didn’t notice how his brother was actually doing. At all.

Was he eating? Sleeping? Did he have a moment of peace?

Was he ignoring all his basic human needs just to punish himself?

Cause one thing for sure, Dean knew how to torture someone, even if it was himself.

Maybe this curse will turn out to be a blessing for their currently crumbling relationship.

“Sam?” His brother was waving in front of his face. “You okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, just thinking”  _ how much I actually hurt you _ , was left unsaid.

“Well, what do you wanna do?” Dean asked.

“Well, it’s too dangerous to try a reverse spell, look what happened last time. And it’s kinda late, we don’t have to be anywhere, so, i guess this is our day off? Wanna watch a movie?”

Dean stared at him, a mixture of surprise and shock coloring his face.

“You- Sam, just cause of this, you don’t have to- you’re not obligated to spend time with me, you get that, right?”

Sam stared at his brother, thinking.

Dean would never turn down a movie.  _ Never _ . Not the Dean he knew.

Now he was looking at Sam as if he had two heads. 

Was this what they had come to? Dean being so taken aback by a simple fact, that Sam wanted to watch a movie with him?

Thinking that he was an obligation?

“No, I know that, it’s just… Why not?”

Dean was still staring at him, breathing heavily. It looked like he was about to have a breakdown.

“Are you-”

“I- I need some air” and before Sam could say anything, Dean was half running towards bunker’s door.

What the hell was that?

  
  


Dean quite literally ran into the woods near the bunker and ended up on his knees, gasping for air, tears blurring his vision.

Fuck this witch and her curse, all it’s done was make him have one breakdown after another.

He just couldn’t get why Sam was being so nice to him all of a sudden. Sure, this sucked, but why in hell would he want to spend time with him? He made it pretty damn clear before, he didn’t want to do anything with Dean. Not anymore. This curse changed  _ nothing  _ but their sleeping arrangements.

Even Sam didn’t get to ignore his existence for months and then act as if nothing happened.

Fuck.

How is he even supposed to hold it together now?

Especially when everything seemed to be on a personal mission to tear him apart completely?

  
  
  


Dean wiped his tears and went back, avoided Sam’s gaze with everything he had and sat down to watch that damn movie.

Naturally, Sam picked a comedy. Maybe to lighten the mood, but it was just making everything worse for Dean. He knew if he even attempted to laugh, it would turn into a sob and would most likely ruin the movie for Sam.

Sam, who kept eyeing him and Dean kept pretending he couldn’t see his concerned glances.

Especially when Sam would laugh at something, turning to Dean to see if he was finding it funny, only to see Dean’s completely empty look.

But what was he suppose to do, when it felt like his whole life was crumbling to pieces?

Did that witch knew? How close to losing it he actually was? Cause this curse just might be what finishes him.

  
  


When it was time to sleep, Dean couldn’t stop his arms from shaking. 

Sam shouldn't be doing this.

“Come on. It’s not weird if you don’t make it weird. Let’s go to my room, I got more pillows and those fluffy blankets you still pretend not to like.”

To say that Dean was freaking out was an understatement of the century.

Clearly, Sam was trying to make it easier for him, but it was anything but.

“Dean, come on” Sam grabbed him by the arm and led him to the bed. “Your hand is ice cold, are you alright?”

Yeah, Dean was cold. Like he spent the night in the freezer, but he wasn’t about to admit that.

“I’m fine”

“Aha, do you even believe it yourself?”

Dean lied down. He complied. Whatever Sam wants, because he was nothing but a burden.

“Gimme your ice cold hand” Sam reached out, hooking up their fingers together. “This should work. Now go to sleep.”

Dean released one more shaky breath and complied.

  
  


And woke up snuggled up to Sam.

Thank god Sam was asleep, that would have been humiliating.

He tried to move back, but Sam’s hand just tightened around him.

Obviously, he’s not going anywhere.

Dean sighed and closed his eyes. He should get more sleep, while he still can. Cause it sure as hell is not gonna be a daily thing for him.

  
  


Sam woke up with Dean snuggled up to him.

It brought a smile on his face.

While his brother pretended to hate everything chick flick related and tried to maintain his tough guy act, he was a big softie inside. He wanted to be held and comforted, but his walls were put so high that no one could get past them. Not even Sam.

Maybe this curse will turn out to be a blessing and bring them closer. Maybe they can even have a normal conversation about things that actually matter. A heart to heart, if you will.

Sam reached out for a book he kept on his nightstand. He’ll wait until his brother wakes up. God knows, he needs this.

The question was, how is he supposed to act further? Dean is… he’s like a hurt animal, terrified of any contact or god forbid, comfort. Sam’s just afraid it will push him away further. And sleep isn’t optional. Dean would run for the hills if it wasn’t. 

How is he supposed to help his brother without completely breaking him?

  
  


Dean started waking up two hours later. 

He was snuggled up with pillows and blankets and honestly, he looked adorable.

Sam would say that, but he liked his face the way it was.

“Morning” Sam said, smiling.

His brother looked confused at first, looking around, his eyes eventually landing on Sam. His face paled slightly. He jumped and pulled away, panic flashed through his eyes for a moment.

“Hey, hey, relax, Dean, come on” Sam reached out, not expecting this kind of reaction.

“You- you should have woken me up” he muttered and Sam recognized guilt coloring his voice.

“Nah, got nowhere to go and it’s warm and comfy here. Besides, I finally started reading this book, been planning for months”

Dean seemed to relax and sink back into the sheets.

“You don’t- you don’t have to baby me, Sam. I know this is a fucked up situation, so, no one is stopping you from kicking me out after 4 hours or whatever.”

“Jesus, Dean, give yourself some credit, huh? This isn’t your fault, you get that, right? And i’m not gonna do that. You can sleep for however long you want. You feel tired, you come to me. It’s not complicated. And this way at least i know you’re sleeping.”

Dean stared at him and Sam held his gaze.

“I was sleeping before.”

“Yeah? What? A few hours every few nights? That’s not enough.” Dean didn’t answer. “Do you wanna get breakfast or do you wanna stay in bed for a bit?”

Dean felt comfortable, but he should get out of Sam’s hair already.

“No, I’ll go, make something. What do you want?”

Sam wanted to ask if Dean was leaving because he wanted to or if he felt like he had to, but he bit his tongue. Dean was shaken enough as it was.

“Scrambled eggs? Pancakes? I’m not picky. Go nuts. I’ll come and help you in a sec”

“Pff, not picky, my ass” Dean muttered under his nose. “No, no, you- you stay here. Read.”

Yep, Dean was definitely feeling guilty.

  
  


All day Dean spent avoiding Sam as much as possible. Tried to look anywhere, but at him and Sam felt weird when every time Dean would avert his eyes. He made lunch and dinner. Didn’t bitch about anything, not  _ once _ .

When it was time to sleep again, they did the same thing as yesterday - holding hands. Dean was still so tense, Sam was a bit surprised by how his muscles weren’t spasming.

The next day was the same and Sam wondered, quietly, how long the silence would last.

His question was answered when Dean started thrashing in his sleep and screamed out a loud  _ ‘no’ _ , making Sam jump.

“Dean?” he rolled over, shaking Dean slightly, but nothing happened.

His brother was sweaty and breathing hard, tears rolling from his eyes.  _ Tears _ .

A nightmare.

“Please, dont-” he started pleading again, and Sam couldn’t just lie down and watch that. He made sure he wasn’t touching him anywhere and Dean’s eyes shot open.

He looked around, eyes wide, terrified, breaths coming in short intervals. Sam hasn't seen him looking so distraught in a longest time. 

“Dean?” he asked, carefully, not sure how to react or what to do.

“I-” his voice broke, eyes darting around, hands shaking. “I need- I- s- some air”

He stood up and ran out of the room before Sam could say anything else. He considered not going after Dean, but decided to go chase him, when a flash of an extremely distraught face of his brother flashed in his mind.

Sam left his room and caught a flash of Dean, still with his pajama pants and a jacket heading outside.

Sam grabbed his own jacket and chased after his kin.

  
  


He found Dean sitting on the grass behind a tree, of all places. Holding a bottle of jack.

The younger Winchester didn’t say anything, just sat down next to his brother, shoulder’s touching. 

They didn’t talk for a long time, just sitting in silence.

Sam didn’t know how long it was. An hour? He waited until Dean’s breath somewhat evened out and arms stopped shaking. Bottle was halfway empty. 

“I’m sorry” Dean’s voice was low, a barely there whisper.

“For what, Dean?”

“For this” he finally turned to look at Sam, and Sam was surprised to see tears. “For fucking up your life even more than i did before. You don’t— you don’t deserve any of this and i keep dragging you through the mud with me and i just-”

“Dean, man, come on. That’s not true and you know it. Nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t fuck up anything. I’m your brother and I’m gonna be with you through it all. You should know that.”

Dean snickered.

“Brother? Not so long ago you didn’t want to be brother’s or want to se-”

“Dean, man, stop it.” Sam cut him off. This could get ugly quickly. “Now is not the time to talk about this. You’re not in the right state of mind. You need rest.”

Dean started shaking his head.

“Yes, Dean. You do. Wanna tell me what the dream was about?” he tried to steer the conversation the other way.

Dean started shaking his head, seemingly trying to get away from Sam.

“Okay, okay, no need to freak out again. How about we go back, cause, man, i’m starting to freeze my ass off.”

Dean made no move to stand up, so Sam just pulled him up.

“Let’s go back. Come on.”

Dean let Sam steer him around like a muppet. Go in. Jacket off. Shoes off. Bottle away. Back in bed.

Trying to resist would be futile, and Dean was too tired, too empty to put up a fight when Sam was like this.

He let himself be put under covers and then felt Sam  _ hug _ him from behind.

Snuggle with him.

“I need this” Sam muttered into Dean’s ear, even though both of them knew he meant ‘you need this’

And yeah, it was nice. He felt safe and warm, but he didn’t deserve this. 

Dean couldn’t stop tears from coming and Sam tightened his grip.

_ You’re safe here, _ it said.

If only.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, what did you think?  
> where should the story go next?

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, tell me what you think?  
> more fighting? more cuddling? more drama?


End file.
